If Idiots Could Fly, LIVE Would Be An Airport...

The internet is an almost perfect gaming solution. Gone is the perception of the lonely gamer, locked away in his room for hours on end, interacting with no-one but his level 50 Dark Elf Cleric. Now he can be playing against people the world over, using a VOIP headset to communicate directly with other players, or even to catch up with friends and family while he plays. A world of friendly, like-minded gamers now stretches across the globe - all eager to meet each other and compete in good-natured contests of skill and reaction time.

At least, that's the theory. The reality is more akin to some horrid alternate future, the world fractured into small groups that bicker and squabble over the smallest thing and persecute any strangers and newcomers that may wander into town.

Where did it all go so horribly wrong? The internet should be a gaming haven, a nirvana of skill and camaraderie, an oasis of relaxation and fun in a stress-filled world. So why do the majority of gamers insist on making it a stressful, annoying, sexist, ignorant, belligerent and intimidating place? Why do most game servers seem to be populated almost entirely by truculent teenagers? Is it any wonder our pastime is still viewed as childish when one look at the internet gaming scene only compounds the very worst stereotypes of gamers?

Because of these problems, even hardcore gamers rarely go looking for new people to play, instead choosing to have 'closed door' gaming sessions with a close-knit circle of friends and like-minded gamers.

What a shame this is. Here we have a tool that could spread the word about how videogames have grown up, that could bring untold millions into the fold, that could turn public perception of gaming as a hobby for children and misfits on its head - and we blew it. The chance left us at the turn of the century. It was then that online gaming really started to explode. As high speed connections became cheaper and more readily available, more and more people took their PC's online, then their Dreamcasts and later their Playstations and Xboxes.

This should have been the tipping point for the acceptance of gaming culture into the mainstream consciousness, instead we are further alienated and marginalised than ever. It's a bizarre situation - the largest and most profitable entertainment industry the world has ever seen, despite the growing population of female gamers and an influx of grown-up games, is regarded as the preserve of geeks and teenage boys.

You'd have thought that the all-conquering success of World of Warcraft would have gone some way to addressing this problem, but no, it's actually made the public perception of gaming worse. Despite the millions of perfectly normal folk that play it each day, the only time you hear about internet gaming in mainstream media is in the form of a nerd gag in "The Big Bang Theory", or when lunatics are queueing all night in fancy dress to buy the latest iteration of WoW, or when some berk goes on a 72 hour gaming bender and winds up dead because he forgot to breathe.

It's a perfectly reasonable hobby for a grown man to have. I swear

So what's the answer? I suppose we could stop anyone under the age of 18, anyone that has sexist or bigoted views and anyone that falls into the category of 'idiot' from having an internet connection, but that would only leave about 1% of the population connected and sounds a bit too '1984' for comfort.

In fact, when I think about it, we already have the answer - forget about it. The only way to enjoy gaming online is to restrict your social group to those you know and trust, anything else just leads to frustration.

The great hope of internet gaming leading millions to accept our hobby is a myth; patience is the key. Eventually all those grating American teenagers will grow up to become grating American adults who'll forget about gaming, and in a few years we'll be well into the second generation of gamers that have grown up with internet gaming. Hopefully, as videogames seep further and deeper into our culture, these isolated groups of friends will find each other, forming wider online gaming communities that span the globe and regulate themselves, giving the trolls and morons no refuge for their antisocial ways. Until then we'll all just have to grit our teeth and try not to get too despondent.

Don't forget there's always offline gaming. "But that's so boring" I hear you cry. Well, why not  invite friends round and play against them in the same room while drinking beers and falling out over using the 'cheap' characters in Street Fighter (Blanka, Ken and Chun Li, for the record). It's more fun than online gaming and you'll actually be able to see the look of despair on their face as you triumphantly vanquish them again. It also has the added bonus of actual human interaction, not just soulless (and brainless) voices on the other end of a wire. Now wouldn't that be something...